Ferocious Flirting: Making Marriage Wonderful

Some feel that when the children arrive, the romance of marriage is over. Children take so much time and attention that it is hard to even find a spare moment to be together for anything. Romance seems out of the question. As the kids get older, the demands change and its becomes harder and harder to be romantic. Yet hope is not lost.

Think of the kids as your little romantic army. When you are doing something romantic for your sweetie, plan a way for the kids to participate in at least part of it. An idea of how to do this is mentioned in Family Romance. Another idea is that if preparing breakfast in bed, let the kids do some of the cooking or write a "We love you" card.

By including the kids you will emphasize the message you are trying to send to your sweetie. When you take all the effort of getting the kids to help it adds to the feeling of love and gratitude. Beside, the kids love it.

If you have included the kids in a romantic gesture, why net send it to me?

Spring is blooming, what a wonderful time of year. I should write an Ode to Spring but there are lots of them and those better than my attempts at poetry. I digress.

Spring is a great time for you and your sweetie to watch the sunset together. The sun goes down late enough to get home from work and still have enough time to prepare. But it goes down early enough to not make a too late of an evening. There is still a hint of chill in the air to make snuggling very pleasant.

Instructions for watching the sunset:

* Find out when sunset is going to be.
* Find a suitable location. Some ideas might be up on a hill with a good view to the west or over some body of water. Its not that important.
* Bring a some treats like chocolate or cookies and milk. Something small and portable. Maybe a picnic dinner.
* Bring a blanket to sit and snuggle on
* Plan to arrive and have everything ready 15 minutes before the grand event.
* Sit, eat, talk, snuggle and enjoy the show!

I found this floating around the internet:

Studies indicate that a man who kisses his wife good-bye when he leaves for work every morning averages a higher income than those who don't. Husbands who exercise the rituals of affection tend to be more painstaking, more stable, more methodical, thus, higher earners. Studies also show that men who kiss their wives before leaving in the morning live 5 years longer than those who don't.

Isn't that amazing? It seems that just by kissing your wife you can make more money and live longer. However, I could not find the actual study that shows this relationship between kissing and money. As always, anything found on the internet must be checked.

Even if it does not raise your income or make you live longer, kissing your sweetie in the morning is a great habit to get into. Since you are going to be apart from your sweetheart for most of the waking day, make sure that the thing that happens last before you part company for the day is a sign of affection. Pair that goodbye kiss with a welcome home kiss at the end of the day.

Let your kids see you kissing. They need to know that their parents love and care for each other.

For special occasions my sweetie gets breakfast in bed. This happens maybe twice a year for Valentine's and for her birthday. My sweetheart really likes the attention and the kids like to help in the surprise. Because it happens so rarely it is extra special.

What would happen if she got breakfast in bed everyday? It would stop being special. It would become commonplace and maybe even boring. Soon she would come to expect it and feel disappointed when it didn't happen.

You and your sweetie share some special events and occasions. Keep them special by keeping them rare. In that way you ensure that the special things stay specials.

Have you ever met someone who dominated every conversation? Do you know a person who has the gift of being able to talk for extended periods of time without taking a breath? How do you feel after trying to hold a conversation with a person who keeps changing the subject? What about one who interrupts other people's conversations? It can be a very frustrating experience trying to talk to a person who doesn't listen and won't allow other people to converse without interjecting.

Surprisingly, most of us invite such a one into our home everyday. Who is it? It is the television of course. The television talks non-stop all day long, is great at capturing one's attention and refuses to listen to anything anyone says to it.

Many times my sweetie and I will be talking and one of us will be distracted by the television. At that point a couple of things happen. If it was the person speaking, they will lose their train of thought and become frustrated. If the listener is distracted, the speaker feels bad that watching the television is more important than listening to your sweetie.

Today's tip is to not have the TV on so much. Turn it off, especially when your sweetheart is trying to speak with you, and you will enjoy the conversation much more. Don't make a big show of turning off the television because then your sweetie might feel like they are intruding. Even better, leave it off when you are expecting your sweetheart so you can give them your undivided attention.

The kids are much more cooperative when the TV goes off. Its almost like a switch is thrown in their brains. Its an amazing thing to watch.

Communication is the life blood of a relationship. Anything that hampers the flow of communication dampens the relationship.

The post on swimming mentions that exercise is good for a couple. This post will delve into that idea.

When we exercise, we create endorphins in the brain. Endorphins have many benefits including:

• More constructive responses to disappointments and failures
• Decreased overall feelings of stress and tension
• Increased perceptions of acceptance by others

Add these things up and what do you get? A great way for you and your sweetheart to spend some time together. The endorphins make you feel better about yourself. Then they will make you feel more accepted by your sweetie. Your sweetie, on the other hand will be feeling the same way. You will both feel better about yourself and your sweetheart.

Wait, it gets better. The feelings of stress are diminished and your ability to deal with stress is improved. Also, your problem solving abilities are improved as well.
Marriage and family are stressful. There are a lot of demands on our time and energies. By exercising regularly, you won't reduce those demands, but you will increase your ability to cope with them. The net result is that you will be a better sweetie for your sweetheart.

By setting up a regular exercise date with your sweetie, you can get all these benefits and more. Not to mention all the health benefits of exercise. There is very little you could do that would improve the closeness of your relationship more than exercise. Break a sweat together.

Have you ever heard of Burma Shave? They sold shaving cream from the 20s to the 60s, which is not very interesting in itself. Lots of companies sell shaving cream. What made Burma Shave different was its advertising. Even today, 40 years after the last ad, people still know Burma Shave ads.

A Burma Shave ad consisted of a 4 line verse like:

IF YOUR PEACH
KEEPS OUT OF REACH
BETTER PRACTICE
WHAT WE PREACH

Each line of the verse was placed on a large poster and staked into the ground along the road. As a driver was driving down the road, they would read one line. Then a short while later, the next sign, then the next and finally the last. There was then a fifth sign with the Burma Shave logo. The first sign got your attention but then you had to wait for the whole verse.

What has this got to do with romance? Anticipation. We all love a sense of anticipation. Create the anticipation with a small verse of your own. Write 4 lines of love and gratitude to your sweetie. Place each line on a poster. Then create a last poster that says "[sweetie's name, I love you, [your name]".

You can either mount the posters on the drive up to your house where your sweetheart will see them on the way home or you can mount them throughout the house, starting at the door where your sweetie will enter the house.

This can be used on a special day, like a birthday or as a just because "I Love You" and wanted you to know it.

You can search Google for more Burma Shave info.

You can send an electronic greeting card to your sweetheart for free. Just go to Hallmark and press the Free E-Cards link. Look for it in the second column under the picture. The column header is "OUR PRODUCTS".

I've sent a couple of these to people and they are fun. They have all sorts of cards. Its a lot of fun to look at all cards. Also, the cards are personalizable so that you can add your own romantic message.

Even though you have to enter both your email and your sweetie's email, I have not noticed any increase in spam. Hallmark seems to not be collecting these for mass-marketing purposes. The other slight drawback is that the card requires Flash to read, but that shouldn't be a problem unless your sweetheart uses an older browser.

Share a laugh with your sweetie. Need a laugh to share? Here are some sources:
* That guy at work who is always doing funny things
* The humor section of a magazine. Think Reader's Digest, "Laughter is the best medicine
* Recall a silly thing that happened on your honeymoon.
* The kids are almost always good for a laugh. If you don't have any, there are other peoples

Among other things, I got my sweetie a dozen red roses and tickets to a play. My sweetheart gave me a large Mylar heart-shaped balloon that plays "You're the one that I want" when you tap it. The kids love it!

What did you sweetheart do to make the day memorable? Did you do something special that was appreciated? If so, add a comment to this entry and share with everyone. If you would rather not share it so publicly, email it to me using the link on the right and I might be able to share it anonymously in a later posting.

The night sky is full of wonders and one of them is The Heart Nebula also known as IC 1805 - The Heart Nebula in Cassiopeia. A grand cosmic valentine for the whole world to enjoy given by the great Creator who loves us.

I John 4:7 reminds us:

7 Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God.

I came across this quote from the Quote of the Day page:

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always
with the same person.

Mignon McLaughlin

Through the course of my marriage, both me and my sweetie have grown and changed. Things we once thought were important now seem so trivial. While things we once overlooked or never really considered have become central to our lives. How can we keep in touch with who our sweetheart is as we both change?

Dating. Isn't that how you first fell in love? Dating, therefore, is as important, if not more important, to married couples as it is to single ones. Dating is how you got to know your sweetie in the first place. Dating is how you can continue to know your sweetheart as you both change over the years. Take time to get to know that incredible person you are married to. Take time to do it over and over again. Chances are your sweetie is pretty wonderful.

Who was Saint Valentine and why is he causing this uproar every year?

According to the Catholic Encyclopedia's entry on St. Valentine's Day the reason for having St. Valentine's on February 14th is:

The popular customs associated with Saint Valentine's Day undoubtedly had their origin in a conventional belief generally received in England and France during the Middle Ages, that on 14 February, i.e. half way through the second month of the year, the birds began to pair. Thus in Chaucer's Parliament of Foules we read:

For this was sent on Seynt Valentyne's day
Whan every foul cometh ther to choose his mate.

For this reason the day was looked upon as specially consecrated to lovers and as a proper occasion for writing love letters and sending lovers' tokens.

It seems that Valentine was a real person. From Catholic Online's St. Valentine page:

Since he was caught marrying Christian couples and aiding any Christians who were being persecuted under Emperor Claudius in Rome [when helping them was considered a crime], Valentinus was arrested and imprisoned. Claudius took a liking to this prisoner -- until Valentinus made a strategic error: he tried to convert the Emperor -- whereupon this priest was condemned to death. He was beaten with clubs and stoned; when that didn't do it, he was beheaded outside the Flaminian Gate [circa 269].

The article then goes on to state that he is the patron saint of affianced couples, bee keepers, engaged couples, epilepsy, fainting, greetings, happy marriages, love, lovers, plague, travellers, young people. He is represented in pictures with birds and roses.

It seems that St. Valentine was suffered martyrdom on February 14th and thus his name was associated with that day. Have a happy Valentine's Day.

One idea that has worked, get the kids together and trace their foot prints on pieces of paper and lay them out like some has walked to a room in the house where you and the kids can all hide. At the head of the foot prints put "Follow the Footprints". Now make a simple card and have all the kids put "love you mom" or "love you dad" and you put something about how much you love your sweetie and how grateful you are for them.

When you hear your sweetheart coming, run and hide at the end of the footprints. Then jump out like its a surprise party and yell "Welcome Home!!". Let the kids give her the card. It takes very little time for everyone involved and sets a great tone for the whole evening.

Crunch time folks. If you haven't done anything for your sweetie yet, now is the time to get moving on it. Some of you, or maybe lots of you will be giving flowers this Valentine's Day. Flowers are an appropriate Valentine's gift for your sweetheart. The problem with flowers is that, while romantic, they are a bit common place this time of year. What can be done to make flowers more exciting?

Most of the time when you give flowers, you include a little note. Instead of the note, include something else that is small and paper. You could include movie or play tickets, a gift certificate or coupon to be used at a favorite restaurant with a note asking them to go out with out. As always, its not the amount you spend, but the thought you put into it. As an example, if getting movie tickets, get them for that movie your sweetie has been wanting to see but you have been not enthusiastic about.

The folks at 1800flowers have Flowers from $24.99. Same Day Delivery available.

Turn a simple gift into a more meaningful and memorable gift experience. Instead of getting a single gift, get several smaller gifts. Make the gifts things that your sweetie real could use. Often, the gifts we need aren't that romantic. To give the gift a romantic touch, include a small note with the gift. For example, if the gift is long johns then the note might say "Because your smile gives me the warm-fuzzies". I think you have the idea.

Now wrap each small gift individually with the accompanying note, then place all the wrapped small gifts into a larger box and wrap it. By putting a little effort and creativity into your gifts, you can turn a mundane item into a romantic experience for both of you.

To involve the children, have each kid contribute a gift and a note into the box. They will love to watch as the gifts are opened and appreciated. If one or more of the gifts your sweetie is getting are not "kid appropriate", create two boxes. One will have the stuff the kids included and can be opened wioth the while family. The other box can include the other, more personal gifts to be opened in private.

Once after my first child had gone to the doctor for a healthy baby check, my mom asked, "Did the doctor tell you how cute your kid is?". She then told me that she would never take her child to a doctor who did not compliment her baby. Of course, she was just joking with the proud new father. But little conversation has stuck with me because my mom ended up teaching me an important lesson.

As parents, we are highly invested in our kids. Their successes are our success and their failures are our failures. It's natural that parents feel that way because we sacrifice so much for their training and up bringing. When someone compliments the child, they are also complimenting the parent for doing such a good job in raising the child.

Today's tip, then, is to compliment you children. Compliment them sincerely for things they do well. Also, compliment them in ways that reflect well on your sweetie. Each of us see certain aspects of ourselves in our kids. Compliment your child on those things.

Take a moment and thank you sweetie for some romantic gesture you really appreciated. Do not couch it as a "you used to do nice things but don't anymore". Instead, just thanks them like "It was so much fun when ... ". This will do two things. First, it will let you both share the moment again. Second, it encourages your sweetie to do romantic things by showing that you appreciate them long after the fact.

Does you sweetie want an iPod? If so, here is a sweet deal for you:free. This is one of those things that you think, "This must be a scam". I know I did when a friend of mine introduced it to me. The funny thing is now he has gotten his free iPod and now I see its not a scam because he really got his. How does it work? From the free ipods wbesite

Check out this great site that is giving away totally FREE iPods!

I've joined and I think you should as well.

It's a completely legitimate offer, and this company has already given away $4 million in FREE stuff!

All you have to do is join, complete an online offer, and refer friends to do the same. That's it!

Here is my referral link. To help me get my iPod, click this exact link to join, or copy and paste it into a browser:
http://www.freeiPods.com/?r=9096650

Ok, I know its pushy. On the otherhand, if your sweetie has been wanting an iPod, here is a way to get it without breaking the bank. They also give away computers, game boxes, etc.

What does complete an offer mean? It means you sign up for some service through the free ipods website. Some of the services have a introductory period during which you can cancel the service without having to pay, if you decide you don't like service or it wasn't what you were expecting. There are many different kinds of services like Blockbuster Online and 1800Flowers.

My sweetie was in the hospital for Valentine's Day one year. Not how one would choose the spend the day most of the time, but those things happen. I also had a friend in a barbershop choir and they were raising money by doing singing telegrams. So he brought a barbershop quartet to my sweetheart's hospital room and sang a couple of songs for her and gave her a rose. Even now, several years later, she still talks about how wonderful it was.

Of course all the nurses stopped to listen and enjoy. The other people on the hospital floor, when they saw my sweetie, told her how nice it was and how lucky she was to have such a thoughtful sweetheart. When I arranged it, never occurred to me how it would affect the other people in the hospital. She just beamed when people told her how sweet I was.

The point of this story is two-fold. First, when presented with an unexpected situation come up with an unexpected way to show your sweetie how much you care. Second, its more memorable if there are others to share in the fun.

Every so often I come across a Sweet Deal to pass along. As I mentioned before, HearthSong is a fun site that provides all sorts of ideas for romantic surprises. They are now offering a special $10.00 off coupon code! Find Valentine's Day items at HearthSong!

Picnics are great fun for couples and for families and I'm sure that picnic ideas will find their way into this list later, maybe when it warms up. However, today I wanted to share a great romantic, picnic which one reader shared with me:

Even though we are very happy, I must admit that we have been sometimes broke. A few years ago, my hubby and I found ourselves in just that situation... stuck at home with not enough money to go anywhere special for a nice date. I don't remember who's idea it was, but we ended up deciding to go on a picnic to a nearby park. We made ourselves some tomato soup with a couple of grilled cheese sandwiches and packed our basket along with a jug of hot chocolate, and a soft quilt for us to lay on.

I remember that we sat at the top of the play area, and laughed and talked about everything that was going on in our lives. I enjoyed it so much!!! This was by far the best date I've ever had. Did I mention that our date was on a Cold Winter Night? We both had mittens and were super bundled up. The park was covered in a blanket of snow. We were the only ones there and the only light we had was the light of the moon.

Yes, if you ask me what is the best date I've ever been to... I'll definitely have to say the one when we had a picnic on a cold winter night!!!

Thanks Gina

I got my wife an early Valentine's present. It was a solid milk chocolate fish with packaging that looks like its ready to to be mounted on the wall. The name of the candy is "You're a keeper". She laughed and then went to show off the present to her friends, who also laughed. My kids thought it was the funniest thing ever.

Although I didn't buy it, at the mall I saw a chocolate nose on a stick that said something like "If I hadn't PICKED you, nobody KNOWS what I would have done!". Having already given her a fish, I thought a nose might be too much.

Valentine's tends to be a serious holiday with lots of romantic and pricy shows of affection. So a good gag gift is unexpected and is therefore more effective. Your sweetie will appreciate a good laugh, along with whatever romantic ideas you have.

I will pass along to you my wife's advice to me, through the laughter: This had better not be my whole valentines!