The Best Clean Humor on the Internet
The internet is awash with humor. Some jokes are funny, while others are clean. Here we have the rare, yet valuable, funny, clean humor. Send your funny, clean humor to me.
About Me
While continuing to provide for his family as a computer programmer, Matt has been studying marriage and relationships for many years. He is the author of the soon to be released book: Ferocious Flirting: Making Marriage Wonderful. He is also available for speaking to groups on keeping the romance going in marriage. Feel free to email me with comments, questions or suggestions.
Tuesday, February 02, 2010
Try a Google Search for "Find Chuck Norris" and Press "I'm Feeling Lucky"
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
The Six Steps In Any Project
The Six Steps In Any Project - Visual FoxPro Wiki: "The Six Steps In Any Project
1) Unbounded enthusiasm
2) Total disillusionment
3) PANIC!!
4) Frantic search for the guilty
5) Punishment of the innocent
6) Promotion of the uninvolved"
1) Unbounded enthusiasm
2) Total disillusionment
3) PANIC!!
4) Frantic search for the guilty
5) Punishment of the innocent
6) Promotion of the uninvolved"
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Lemon Pickers Wanted!!
The woman applying for a job in a Florida lemon grove seemed to be far too qualified for the job.
The foreman frowned and said, "I have to ask you this:
"Have you had any actual experience in picking lemons?"
"Well, as a matter of fact, I have! I've been divorced three times, owned 2 Plymouths and I voted for Obama."
The foreman frowned and said, "I have to ask you this:
"Have you had any actual experience in picking lemons?"
"Well, as a matter of fact, I have! I've been divorced three times, owned 2 Plymouths and I voted for Obama."
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Issue 31482 - chromium - Huge amount of goats teleported - Project Hosting on Google Code
Google Chrome has an outstanding issue that I hope gets resolved: Issue 31482 - chromium - Huge amount of goats teleported
Has the government looked into this goat transportation issue yet? Is it part of health care reform package? Will we ever find the goats? What is google going to do with all those goats anyway?
Has the government looked into this goat transportation issue yet? Is it part of health care reform package? Will we ever find the goats? What is google going to do with all those goats anyway?
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Friday, October 23, 2009
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Soccer Kick
We all have moments of poor judgment, even presidents. Yet, somehow, when it shows up on YouTube it is funny. Now if it just had the Benny Hill music.
Friday, May 22, 2009
A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde were on their way to Heaven
A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde were on their way to Heaven.
God told them that the stairway to Heaven was 1000 steps, and that on every 5th step He would tell them a joke. He told them not to laugh at any of the jokes along the way or else they would not be able to enter Heaven.
The brunette went first and started laughing on the 45th step, so she could not enter Heaven.
The redhead went next and started laughing on the 200th step, so she could not enter Heaven either.
Then, it was the blonde's turn. When she got to the 999th step, she started laughing.
"Why are you laughing?" God asked. "I didn't tell a joke."
"I know," the blonde replied. "I just got the first one."
God told them that the stairway to Heaven was 1000 steps, and that on every 5th step He would tell them a joke. He told them not to laugh at any of the jokes along the way or else they would not be able to enter Heaven.
The brunette went first and started laughing on the 45th step, so she could not enter Heaven.
The redhead went next and started laughing on the 200th step, so she could not enter Heaven either.
Then, it was the blonde's turn. When she got to the 999th step, she started laughing.
"Why are you laughing?" God asked. "I didn't tell a joke."
"I know," the blonde replied. "I just got the first one."
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
One Div Zero: A Brief, Incomplete, and Mostly Wrong History of Programming Languages
For the geeky crowd, we proudly present One Div Zero: A Brief, Incomplete, and Mostly Wrong History of Programming Languages: "A Brief, Incomplete, and Mostly Wrong History of Programming Languages".
For example
Read the entire list for a humorous if inaccurate walk down memory lane.
For example
1972 - Dennis Ritchie invents a powerful gun that shoots both forward and backward simultaneously. Not satisfied with the number of deaths and permanent maimings from that invention he invents C and Unix.Not quite how I remembered it, but true none the less.
Read the entire list for a humorous if inaccurate walk down memory lane.
Thursday, April 02, 2009
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
Happy Spring Everybody
There are some great things popping up now that March is over and April has begun:
- GMail announces their new Autopilot program
- See a shrimp running on a treadmill
- Don't miss a classic article on the Swiss Spaghetti Harvest, video here.
Labels: april fools
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
Random Garfield
I got this from Eagle_Fire.
Check it out!
...so this guy noticed that Garfield comics make just as much sense if you throw random panels together, and sometimes are actually pretty funny. He got a cease and desist letter. So he made the code available for people who wanted to try it for themselves. Here we go!
Check it out!







