Surrealism Server: Surrealist Compliments For All

If you need a compliment, but can't come up with one, try Surrealism Server: Surrealist Compliments For All . Then again, maybe not.

Tech Support Calls

Customer: I'm trying to connect to the Internet with your CD, but it just doesn't work. What am I doing wrong?
Tech support: OK, you've got the CD in the CD drive, right?
Customer: Yeah....
Tech support: And what sort of computer are you using?
Customer: Computer? Oh no, I haven't got a computer. It's in the CD player and all I get is weird noises. Listen.....
Tech support: Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!!!

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Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer: No .. wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry....

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Incredible Illusion!!

Incredible Illusion!!
Originally uploaded by Matthew Baldwin.

Behold! The power of a kitten.

One Red Paper Clip

OneRedPaperclip.com
The internet is a funny place indeed.

Vote Early, Vote Often

I Voted
Originally uploaded by slothdog.

Apparently, slothdog is a big fan of voting. Looks like he did it lots of times yesterday. Any isn't he happy about it?

Some realtionship humor

Not being a big fan of casseroles, I find this one funny:

A GOOD MARRIAGE IS LIKE A CASSEROLE
ONLY THOSE INVOLVED ACTUALLY KNOW WHAT GOES INTO IT.

This is so true. Try smiling at perfect strangers and see if they don't smile back.  Now try smiling at your sweetheart.

A SMILE CAN BRING HAPPINESS TO ANYONE.
EVEN IF THEY DON'T LIKE YOU.

It works really well if they do like you.

laws of the natural universe

Law of Mechanical Repair:
After your hands become coated with grease,
your nose will begin to itch.

Law of the Workshop:
Any tool, when dropped,
will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of the Telephone:
When you dial a wrong number,
you never get a busy signal.

Law of the Alibi:
If you tell the boss you were late for work because
you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will
have a flat tire.

Variation Law:
If you change lines (or traffic lanes),
the one you were in will start to move faster than
the one you are in now. (works every time)

Bath Theorem:
When the body is fully immersed in water,
the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters:
The probability of meeting someone you know
increases when you are with someone you don't
want to be seen with.

Law of the Result:
When you try to prove to someone that a machine
won't work, it will.

Law of Bio Mechanics:
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional
to the reach.

Theater Rule:
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest
the aisle arrive last.

Law of Coffee:
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your
boss will ask you to do something which will last until
the coffee is cold.

Murphy's Law of Lockers:
If there are only two people in a locker room,
they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets:
The chances of a pokerfaced jelly sandwich
landing face down on a floor covering are directly
correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.